I dreamt I was watching a concert. All my friends were playing together.
It was a long concert with a small fractured audience, coming and going. I was the only one in the audience there for the whole show. The MC kept asking if I was going on next. I kept telling him, “no.” He’d find someone else who was going on next, then asked if I was going on after them. I wanted to say, “no I don’t play,” but I couldn’t. I can’t play guitar. I haven’t even arranged my songs yet, to be performed.
After the concert I was in an unfamiliar room with a television up high on the wall. The TV droned out Direct-Live images of children as they come near to a sudden violent death, only to be saved by the bravery of other children. For the most part, I ignored the television while I lay in bed.
It was a strange room. I was in my best friend’s bed. Her boyfriend was there with me. He started to jerk off. He said I should feel free to take care of things. I was about to proceed when I asked him if he meant, “Join in or jack off in parallel?” My best friend wasn’t there. Her boyfriend said he talked to her. That she’d grown comfortable with his promiscuity, as long as he told her all the details, and as long as we didn’t fuck while facing each other. With a delicate undulation, I tried to grind against his hip, but he complained right away of pain.
He pulled out a glass piece, from a musical instrument he carried in his back pocket. He stopped everything to show off the rest of the instrument; a squat glass barrel that looked like a well used multi-chambered bong inside. He put the small piece; that I presumed was a mouthpiece, back in the same pocket. This surprised me. He returned to seductive mode.
I felt inhibited, a bit. I didn’t know what all the boundaries were. I now knew about two taboos but I didn’t know what else I might try, only to have the momentum broken by yet another broken rule. Then I worried about my own taboos. I’ve had unprotected sex. I didn’t think it was fair to expose myself to him. I might be dangerous.
He was a bit slow and inhibited too, even as we fed off each other’s energy. He told me he was hard just lying there. I stroked him. I had my hands full of him. My hands were full of his pre-cum too.
The TV set was still going. Sometimes we were distracted by it. A black cat that reminded us of my roommate’s cat was walking around. The cat seemed interested in what we were doing. My best friend’s boyfriend said something that gave me the impression that it would be cool to let the cat lap up his pre-ejaculate. The cat looked like it was about to oblige but rather than licking and lapping the cat put its mouth over the end of his cock and bit him. There were tiny tooth marks and little drops of blood. I felt terrible for letting that happen.
I was unsure about having sex. I feared he would be more vulnerable to some disease that I might not know about, now that he had little cuts in his cock. I kept wondering why my best friend wasn’t there. I was hoping; if this was all okay, we would consummate a threesome some day.
Up on the TV, I saw a bunch of children playing on high tension wires. One girl almost fell, but was saved at one wrist by an older child. He lifted her back up onto the electrical wires. Or were they telephone wires? Once safe near the junction of wires and dark wood creosote telephone pole, the little girl fearless, leapt all about. Meanwhile, the announcer pointed out, that another child, probably her older brother, had fallen to his death earlier that day.
I woke up on this water bed, in this room I once knew. Three happy faces from twenty-five years ago are still on the ceiling. I’d forgotten how loud it is here. We all played music last night. But none of us could play together. We are all comfortable being in the same room, each in his own world.